Lists

How easy it must be for normal people to be able to gather their thoughts.

For me?

I love (have) to make lists, or else it’s an endless succession of faceless mouths screaming every instruction I ever got.

Without even taking a breath

or letting me breathe for that matter.

it gets really noisy when I’m left alone with my thoughts and the worst thing – 99% of the time it’s my own voice on repeat with only me, myself and I alone on the dancefloor, stuck under a breathtaking chandelier, forever waiting for last call.

I like to make myself believe the lists help, when everything is black on white it tends to make more sense…

But that’s the thing isn’t it?

Things are never just black and white, most of the time you’ll find it’s kinda grey, and dark blue, maybe red and if you’re really confused it will most likely end up being rainbow colors.

Feeling it get quieter and quiter as the words flow from my head out my pen and onto the blank canvas. The deafening white noise slowly losing it’s effect.

I envy people who are able to organize their minds.

But I guess that’s life…